Sunday, June 17, 2012

Owned by the FL NRA: Shooting neighborhoods up "for funsies" now legal

#37 of My Stupid State

An incident happened recently in a nearby neighborhood... a man fired at and killed some Muscovy ducks at a retention pond. (The ducks are pretty but not a protected species.) He fired repeatedly, surrounded by houses and children playing. No one called the cops this time. It is extremely dangerous, but thanks to the new law signed by Rick Scott, not illegal. In fact, if he was even to shoot across a road or "over any occupied premise", it would only be a misdemeanor.

The new law is forcing all counties and cities to repeal ALL of their gun ordinances by October 1 of this year. If they don't, they will be fined up to $100,000 for each ordinance that is stricter than Florida's (an EXTREMELY low bar--shooting at my house is only a midemeanor?). Orange County employees have already taken down the "no firearms" signs at county parks. In Groveland, they repealed an ordinance that banned firing a gun into the air. You can now do that in downtown Orlando as well. And the Orlando Sentinel added this nugget:

During the hurry, local governments also quietly rescinded ordinances that made it illegal to whip out the AK-47 and blast away for funsies in populated areas.

That same article talks about a poor woman who is forced to listen to rednecks shooting at her neighbor's property for 12 straight hours in an east Orange County subdivision. Certainly what our founding fathers had in mind.

Many people to thank for this genius-ness. But primarily, you can thank the second most hated person in Florida right now after Rick Scott. This person is someone you may not have heard of. She is a 4-foot-11, 73-year-old grandmother... and a sweet, little thing according to her gushy wikipedia page. But she is as close to evil as you might ever see.

She has also done more to enable the killing of innocent Florida citizens, and put many more lives in danger, than any other person in this state. She is Marion Hammer, the top lobbyist for the National Rifle Association in Florida.

Florida has the dumbest and most lax gun laws in the nation. We are a breeding ground for gun stupidity and danger. Yes, we were the first in the nation to try "Stand your Ground/Castle doctrine", which was used by Zimmerman to hunt down and kill Trayvon Martin. (Apparently, your "castle" includes any sidewalk or street.) Justifiable homicides have skyrocketed, which is JUST WHAT WE PREDICTED would happen when asshat Jeb legalized Marion's shoot first law:


Not be content with the extra killing, Marion went on a rampage when a Tallahassee pediatrician asked her granddaughter about having a secured gun in the house. (Those pediatricians like to ask standard "invasive" questions like if a pool is fenced in or if dangerous chemicals are locked up.). Her minions in the legislature worked to restrict doctors from asking about guns in the home: “Docs versus Glocks” law. Leading Marion's call was my own state rep, idiot and complete liar Jason Brodeur, a Sanford Republican, to sponsor a bill where a doctor who dared to ask if a gun was locked up would be thrown in prison for five years and fined ... up to $5 million freaking dollars! Thankfully, the Courts sided with the physicians, but Rick Scott promised to appeal. (Might as well, since he'll be in Court fighting the Justice Dept. on the purge anyway.)

On average, the legislature passes 1-2 gun friendly laws a year, each one crazier than the last. Many are to blame: the subjugated legislators, apathetic voters, and cowardly candidates for local office who are now for the first time being forced by Marion to fill out intimidating questionnaires with loaded questions like this:

"Do you agree that no victim of crime should be required to surrender his life, health, safety, personal dignity, autonomy, or property to a criminal, nor should a victim be required to retreat in the face of an attack from any place he or she has a right to be?"

a. "Yes, I believe the 'Castle Doctrine/Stand Your Ground' is appropriate and victims have a right to fight back without a duty to retreat."

b. "No, I oppose the 'Castle Doctrine/Stand Your Ground' and believe victims should surrender to criminals or retreat to avoid fighting back."

Answer the question their way, or be a target. And don't think about not answering: "Questions that are not answered will be graded as a response against Second Amendment rights."

SO thank you Marion and Rick, for your strong advocacy for the 2nd amendment. I hope there is a retention pond near your houses so someone can show off the sounds of freedom to you as well.


  1. gun nuts suck

  2. Had a nut gun queer neighbor (shooting Nutria in a retention pond behind us) shoot at US for yelling at him to "knock it off". Tonight he came back, saw me (a woman - apparently did not see my man, so he must've felt empowered), fired a shot IN OUR DIRECTION into the pond, and when I yelled at him to knock it off again (since my daughter was also in the area) he responded by getting pissed off & firing 4 more rounds IN OUR DIRECTION. Nice, Florida. Stupid is as stupid does. Oh wait, was this a "stand your ground case" since I yelled "knock it off" while sitting in MY backyard enjoying the pond with my daughter?

    1. you should still call the cops on him... shooting a gun in your direction is bananas

  3. As a gun enthusiast that lives in Florida, This is fucking crazy! also if someone if firing into the surface of a pond and the bullets are skipping or reflecting your way call the cops! There is no excuse for even firing "warning" shots over public property at someone for speaking. If your daughter was anywhere close to those bullets, call the cops.

  4. I think that someone needs to arrange a couple of flash-mob simulated gun-fights for the next time Hammer, and/or the Governor holds a press conference.

    (perfectly legal. of course, but with life ammo.)

  5. ...or you could js shoot the asshole.