8 Reasons You Should Enjoy Email-Ghazi

One of my many bosses is a bit of wingnut. He told me that even though Rick Scott defrauded seniors out of millions in Medicaid fraud, he was okay with it because "if he's smart enough to do that, imagine how smart he would be as governor."

This is the same guy that came into my office and was outraged about Hillary's private email server.

I said, so "that's what you're mad about?" Of course. This is isn't one of those non-scandals where working-class people get fucked over. This is involving an innocuous decision by either an Obama or a Clinton. It has all of the three necessary components of a career-ending scandal: government bureaucracy, correspondence, and font.

After all, this would never have happened under a GOP administration. Do you think for a moment that the Secretary of State under George W Bush would have used a private email server to conduct business?

Oh, wait. He Did. Not only did Colin Powell do exactly the same thing, unlike Hillary, he didn't save any of his emails. He deleted all when he left, but that's kewl because his last name isn't Obama or Clinton.

Nonetheless, I was reassured by said boss that this would all be Hillary's undoing. The latest poll, taken just three days ago, completely validates him-- except the opposite. Hillary is leading her top GOP contender by 14 points over John Ellis Bush. And this was a republican poll!

I may not be the biggest Hillary fan, but I love how she can upset republicans like nobody's business. I'm enjoying this for several reasons...and you should too:

1. Realize that conservatives can't see the blatantly obvious: the only people upset about this and ranting like crazy are people who already hate Hillary.

2. Enjoy that this is what they have. This is ALL they have. This is what they will focus on. This is what they will pour money into. I can't wait to see the ads on this.

3. Watch for the conspiracy theory. Nobody can bring out the stupid and crazy that we have come to expect from the GOP. How will this tie into Vince Foster's murder?

4. This will remind everyone, AGAIN, how fake-scandal obsessed the GOP is: Whitewater real estate "scandal", travelgate, pardongate, filegate.... BENGHAZI!!! (Just another 3 years and a few more investigations will make that dam break, dammit!)

5. This will remind us all why we hate republicans. No law was broken, and yet the GOP is in a tizzy while breaking laws every day! Right here in Florida, they are gerrymandering like crazy despite our Constitutional amendment that says they can't. Even RIGHT NOW they are killing the Everglades by refusing to buy critical land to save it, despite a legal contract and yet another Constitutional amendment. So excuse me if I ignore your passion about an email policy.

6. The GOP will go overboard and launch 1000 investigations. When the Bush administration deleted 5 MILLION emails and the Democrats wanted to launch an investigation, they were asked "Are we simply going on a fishing expedition at $40,000 to $50,000 a month?" The person who asked that, by the way, was the king of pointless investigations, Darrell Issa.

Ironically, all of this will lead to the exact same conclusion as Benghazi. The GOP House will have to admit there is no scandal.

7. Hypocritical, righteous indignation on how can anyone be so nontransparent. Scott Walker was outraged by this, I tell you, even though he did the EXACT SAME thing and unlike Hillary, had staff engage in illegal activities. John Ellis Bush (JEB) also used private email to conduct government business along with the government server, but only chose only to selectively release 10% of those emails. When JEB did release the few emails he sent out, he also released people's personal data!

In fact, take a look at all the GOP hopefuls. Notice anything?

8. The GOP actually thinks this will work. So you learn that the GOP voted against eliminating the tax break for outsourcing, AND creating one for insourcing. You then learn about Hillary's email. Which do you think would hold more sway?

By the by, I truly don't care that Bush ever used a private email to conduct government business. He shouldn't have, but after everything that he's done from signing into law Florida's Stand Your Ground to playing god with a woman in a coma, I just can't give a #### about emails and emoticons. But that's just me.

I look forward to reminding my boss about this in a few months, but by then we'll be on to something else. Given that the scandals seem to get lamer each time, I'm thinking it will have something to do with rental fees.