Thursday, November 10, 2011

Real Loser of Last Night's Debate (not Rick Perry)

I can't help but feel bad for Rick Perry. I've had a few moments where I'm talking in front of a large group of people, or a debate roundtable on television, or am invited to a radio show, and during a tirade it hits me... there are A LOT of people watching me. Unlike Rick Perry, I press through it and never once considered passing up a chance to be heard.

See, that's the thing about debates. You get better each time you practice. I guess blowing off all those debates all those years in Texas didn't do him any favors in the big league. I was one of those people who relentlessly teased him about ducking the rest of the debates. But even I had no idea how horrendously unprepared and god-awful he could be. He was right... he REALLY should have skipped the debates.

Romney again showed how lucky he is, by picking off candidates without ever firing a shot. His chief rivals, Cain and Perry, imploded in the same week. Ironically, up to the magic moment when Perry shot his foot off, he actually had the strongest performance to date. Romney gave a relatively weak performance, messing up answers on the auto bailout and again being incoherent on his signature accomplishment... the individual mandate. But again, the stars aligned and Rick Perry saved him by being the focus of attention for the next few days.

Romney came out the winner of last night's debate thanks to Rick.

Who is the BIG winner of last night's debate you ask?

Dan Quayle.

Before last night, he was the victim of the worst debate moment in history when Senator Lloyd Benson handed him his ass in the best verbal smackdown to date.

Now we have a new champion. Rick Perry.

But Perry's complete implosion over passionately shutting down a federal agency he can't even name which has, let's face it, ended his campaign for prez even if he won't admit it, is not the BIG loser of last night's debate.

Fact is, Perry was finished before the debate even started. All we are watching is the painful death of a candidacy that has been on life support two months ago. (But that first month, what a ride).

No, the Biggest Loser: TIM PAWLENTY

That's right.

He was the original "anti-Romney", and if we have learned anything by watching the GOP circus, the base HATES. THE. MITT. (The Establishment GOP, who has always seen the teabags as useful idiots, must be positively gleeful.)

But it didn't have to be. Up to the completely meaningless Iowa Straw Poll, Pawlenty
was overshadowed by "frontrunners" Bachmann and Paul. Paul was never gonna happen, and Bachmann quickly became the joke she already was. Perry stalled, and Cain imploded. Now Perry, whom some had hoped would get a second wind (who else did they have?) is now officially DOA.

The anti-romney coalition won't rally around an unelectable like Gingrich, and refuse to even consider the only adult in the room, Huntsman, because he isn't a pandering jackass.

If Tim Pawlenty was still in the race, HE WOULD BE THE FRONT RUNNER.

Which is why I find this so delicious.

Not too long ago, he admitted he regretted his decision:

"If we would have known then what we know now, would we have made some different decisions?" he replied. "Sure we would have, and I regret not making different decisions."

That he surrendered to Michelle Bachmann and Mitt Romney. His ONE and ONLY shot at this, and he blew it.

What an idiot. I can only imagine what is going through his head right now.

I give you the BIGGEST LOSER on the planet. Tim Pawlenty.

No, the honor of who will go on to be defeated by Obama will be as has been foretold. Mittens Romney.

Of course, if any of the GOP candidates win, then I will have to declare a new Biggest Loser... the American people.

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