What the new GOP "hip-hop" image will look like...

How do you reach out to minorities after you've insulted, marginalized, and in some cases, villianized them for so long?

You talk in their "language". For example, as you all know from watching McDonald's commercials, African-Americans will only respond to marketing if there is rapping or dancing involved.

Enter Mike Steele. His new public relations campaign will "update" the GOP's image with minorities using an "urban-suburban hip-hop setting". Oh, he promises it will be "off the hook". Unfortunately, what Steele doesn't realize is that the GOP has tried this before. It looked something like this:





MC Rove not fresh enough for ya? Mr. White (real name) tried to jazz up McCain's sagging campaign with this "Cribs" video:




See--talking the language! And not insulting in the least!

Mitt Romney gets it. Mr. "Who let the dogs out!!" with accompanied barking...



If all goes according to plan, this will be the speech at the GOP convention in 2012...




In no time, African-Americans will forget about those silly voter-suppression tactics, Katrina, and the fact that the GOP likes to make fun of them in radio ballads.

A few more targeted spots featuring some R&B and rapping, and our party could be in deep trouble. Next up, Steele will relate to the Hispanics and Arabs still hung up over the GOP's whole "they are destroying our country" meme. (Good Grief! You villianize an ethnic group a couple hundred times and they just NEVER let it go...)

Then the climax. Next election cycle, the GOP will gaurantee the woman vote by putting a woman on the ticket as veep! Any woman will do--no matter how stupid, extremist, or even anti-woman. If they do that, we are so hosed because every woman in this county will just vote for her.

Once that happens, the only ethnic group left for the GOP to win over will be "one-armed midgets" whom Steele just offended. And once he figures out how to relate to them in their language--we will be so screwed.